For a more romantic relationship, don’t keep score; lead by example!

It’s a given that making an effort to add as much good old-fashioned romantic ideas to your relationship as possible will make your life with your significant other more rewarding, exciting and fulfilling. If you’re interested in building a better relationship with your lover and making their happiness the number one priority in your life, you’d be nuts not to make an effort to add more romantic gestures, acts and thinking to the mix. And if you and your sweetheart are both interested in being as romantic as possible, it might be fun to try to out-do each other when it comes to romance and showing your love.

But if you’ve recently discovered how addicting it is to be romantic with your partner, it’s easy to get upset if your lover isn’t as enthusiastic about old-fashioned romance as you are right away. You’re excited about adding a bunch of new romantic ideas to your daily lives and making your relationship or marriage more fulfilling, so why can’t they be? Sure, it’s understandable that you’d want your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband to do as many romantic things as you’re doing, but keeping score on who’s being the most romantic in a relationships is the wrong approach.

Being romantic is not something that someone can be forced to do in a relationship . . . in fact, if someone is being romantic only because they have to, that’s the complete opposite of old-fashioned romance! If you’re a true romantic, whether or not your partner is as romantic as you shouldn’t make a difference in how satisfying it is to you. The true romantic doesn’t treat their partner romantically to impress anyone or to get them to give you anything back . . . the true romantic acts romantically simply to make their partner happy!

If making your sweetheart happy isn’t reward enough for you, you may need to reassess why you want to add romance to your relationship, after all. If it’s to change who your partner is or to get something back from them, you’re probably concentrating on old-fashioned romance for the wrong reasons. If you make a romantic gesture and your lover enjoys it, let their smile and happiness be your compensation. Don’t ever start keeping track of how many times your partner is romantic with you or compare who is the most romantic!

If your lover is not as romantic as you are and if you would like to change that, it’s better to lead by example than to try to make them feel bad about it. Add some small, modest romantic acts to your daily routine, but don’t overdo it or make them feel overwhelmed. Making positive changes in a long-term relationship can take some time, and sometimes patience is the best quality to have when trying to make your partner more romantic.

Remember, part of being an old-fashioned romantic is to love your partner for who they are, not demand that they change, and to be patient as you grow together. Never keep score on who is more romantic in your relationship or make your partner feel guilty about not being romantic enough. Lead by example, introduce romance into your life slowly, and you may be surprised to find your lover beginning to become an old-fashioned romantic without even realizing it!